For Thursday, December 17, 1998 Drummer Column, Gibbs, 730 words

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

What's the matter with kids these days?

We hear that line at every generation change. I was a '60s kid, and we had a lot of problems. My older sister was from the '50s and they were messed up. The '70s kids were off the chart with their polyester disco. The Generation X kids -- are they still in charge? -- were diverging in all directions. And now here we are at the change of the millennium with a new flock, and they have problems, too.

In this new Generation XYZ there seems to be a broadening lack of respect for adults. As a teacher I see it, and I hear about it in the lunch rooms and faculty meetings. When kids are confronted by adults for infractions, they are much quicker to argue and verbally abuse their teachers. Defiance of authority is our most common infraction over at the high school. Being a teacher today is much harder than it used to be.

To see evidence of that, tune in to tonight's school board meeting.

I have conjectured a few theories on this waning respect issue that I'd like to toss out.

Keep in mind that I am not a trained psychologist, sociologist, or behavioral therapist. I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV.

Here are some factors to consider. Many kids today have the opinion that age alone does not earn a person respect. Action, intention, and accomplishment earn respect, and nothing less. This flies in the face of many cultures' traditional respect for age, including our own country's long-lasting tradition of respecting one's elders.

When I was a kid, if a boy sassed his teacher, that boy would have his butt reddened by a handcrafted paddle made in woodshop by his sadistic peers. My teachers and administrators had just come out of two decades of war. They took "Sir" for granted and didn't think twice about slapping sense into an unruly child. When the kid got home he was often grounded for getting in trouble.

I had my butt reddened a few times -- for other things -- so I'm not advocating a return to corporal punishment. But in my time, the fear of being swatted contributed greatly to our respect toward our elders. That’s gone for good.

Respect for elders begins in the home with good parent roll models. If it is taught at home, it carries over into school. In homes where kids run the show because of weak parenting, the tendency to boss adults carries over into school. Irresponsible parenting is responsible for many of the trash-talking teens.

However, permissive, non-threatening parenting is not necessarily weak, it's a sign of the times.

Our kids' parents, teachers, and administrators, did not come out of two decades of war. They are not so ready to bark orders and yell commands. They emerged out of 20 years of laid-back love-ins and rock 'n' roll. Grown ups now are doing a softer sell, and to some it's interpreted as weakness.

Some of the disregard for old age comes along with the Information Age. In my youth, information to teenagers was limited. In-depth knowledge was hard to get. It was kept in libraries and colleges and massive volumes of the Encyclopedia Britannica in the hallway and on the nightly news with Walter Cronkite. Adults controlled the information and it was awfully tidy.

With the Internet offering instant access to a trillion documents and a billion voices, many of them young voices, some kids feel they don't need adults anymore to provide them with information. They can get it on their own, and a lot faster without the help of bumbling adults who still don't know a browser from an ISP.

The Internet can become parent and teacher and system administrator. Imagine the generation around the corner, Generation W, suckled and weaned on the World Wide Web. Mom and Dad replaced by Mo and Dem. Underground web sites will abound despite the adults' most concerted efforts to control the information once again. Imagine their possible motto: Question Authority.

The Y2K hysteria is real.

O.K. time for schmaltz. Respect is earned by example. Age alone doesn't bestow it. However, age does deserve reverence. Age brings experience which can bring wisdom. Surviving in this world is tough work and every year is a notch on the belt of endurance. Kids need to acknowledge this. I expect they'll want the same when it's their turn.