For Thursday, July 31, 1997 Drummer Column, Gibbs, 683 words

Flesh and dirt

Technology is a demon? Oh, come on. It's an easy topic for a pulpiteer. Sure, there are plenty of negative aspects. Societies structure themselves around technology. It has the potential to take over and destroy lives. People today are turning into zombies without social skills. They interact more with machines than they do with people. They go from computer to telephone to television to bed. Cybercommunities have replaced real communities. Everyone knows everyone else's personal business. Cellular phones and beepers hang off hips like six-shooters. But, seriously, is technology a burden? A detriment to our cultural health? A demon? I think not.

I like my microwave. My refrigerator works fine. My alarm clock plays music. Modern medicine is cool. I like my television, though its message arrives in a full metal jacket of commercialism and propaganda; I guess someone has to buy the air time before "the show must go on."

No, I don't think technology is a demon. It transfers man-made messages. Don't shoot the messenger. Shoot the programmer. Train the recipient.

We need to teach classes called "Coping with Technology," which train people how to balance their family's exposure to technology with their exposure to each other.

I picture a training community, a village that would not allow electricity to dominate its culture. All the people would get is an ice cave, a lake, and several corporate sponsors who would open branch offices downtown. Families would pay big money to live there for one year and learn to cope with technology.

Think back 30 years. Remember Scrabble? Chinese checkers? Remember sitting around the table with the family, grandma and grandpa included, playing canasta? This prototypical town, called Cave Lakeville, would be something like that.

Except, Cave Lakevillians' homes would be hi-tech marvels. They would have televisions, computers, VCRs, and all the rest. The catch would be the two-hour-a-day limit, per person, for interaction with any electrical device.

Each citizen would wear a detector chip locked into an ankle strap. If they went over two hours, loud gongs would go off in the ceilings. Penalty charges would be added to their account. Then the tear gas. The end result -- Cave Lakevillians would become extremely judicious about their electrical use.

The morning alarm clock, if electric, would cost one minute. The snooze button would cost five minutes more. People would wake up faster.

Getting into the refrigerator would start the meter, so people will grab quick and save energy. Stoves would be gas, and gas doesn't count.

(By the way, home heating, lighting, and air conditioning doesn't count, either. If it did, most people would move out, demand a refund, and we'd have no story. For the same reason, we won't meter electricity used at work, flashlights, transportation, or in-coming calls.)

Homes would be designed for maximum use of electrical time. Each would have what we call in the industry, a "juice bar," which is a room teeming with electrical outlets. Attached would be computers, televisions, phones, radios, fax machines, rocking horse, neck massager, whatever, all within easy reach. Go in, shut the door, have a multimedia frenzy, and get it over with. Once in a while, the family could gather around one TV for a commercial-free, preview-free movie.

Here's the bonus: Cave Lakevillian's could save their hours. Time saved over a year would be turned into dividend-earning stock. A family could cash out and move, or use the dividends to subsidize a second year, and so on. Cash would come in the mail each quarter.

To save hours, most Cave Lakevillians would go camping in the summer. They'd shut down their houses and live in tent communities along the lake. They'd store their perishables in the ice cave. A family of four could save over 200 hours a month. While getting rich, people would make a lot of friends. They would communicate. They would celebrate each other's company. The end result - they would attain the intimacy of ancient tribes, but with all the modern conveniences.

And at 1000 hours, they would be granted dinner with the king.