For Thursday, April 2, 1998 Drummer Column, Gibbs, 722 words

Vexing tasks

Do you have this problem? I have these vexing little tasks that need done that aren’t critical to life or liberty. Because they are not pressing, I can’t seem to think of them when I have the time to do them. When I don’t have time, they pop up to annoy me.

For example, I’ve needed rubber bands for almost two years. Now that I teach computer repair as well as English, I have to bundle a lot of diskettes. My need for rubber bands has skyrocketed. Yet, I scrounge for them one at a time. I’ve been to Paper Tiger and Office Max a dozen times, but I always forget the rubber bands.

I don’t own a small flathead screwdriver, which I need about five times a year. I only think of it when I'm deep into a project; then I don’t want to stop and drive to the hardware store. Instead, I use my Swiss Army knife. I’ve been to the hardware store a dozen times, but I consistently forget the small flathead screwdriver.

I’m also out of wide masking tape for wrapping packages. I’ve been out for at least four years. I only need it during the Christmas season and certain birthdays, and then I get around it by going to Mailboxes Etc. where they tape the packages for me.

I removed a baseboard from one of our small bedrooms back in 1993 to lay down some floor tiles. That baseboard is still sticking up beside the dryer in the garage, waiting to go back home.

In 1992 I bought wood to build a decorative railing in my backyard. The wood sat wrapped under a tarp until last year when I used most of it for an unrelated task. The remaining wood sits there useless until I repurchase what's missing.

There is a crushed soda can under our hydrangea bush near the front porch. It’s been there since the holidays. It’s down a steep, bushy hill that requires a modicum of effort to descend. I only notice the can when I'm in a hurry. I can't remember to pick it up at any other time. Right now I'm busy writing or I'd go pick it up.

One of my favorite shirts is missing a button. It's been gone at least two years. The hole is right at the belt line, so I get around it by tucking the shirt in tightly and wearing a tie that drops to my buckle. A spare button is sewn into the placket further down.

My van is a source of many vexing tasks. I have a taillight out. I don't know how long. I learned about it two weeks ago when someone who had been following me told me. If a Benicia cop is reading this, please cite me. Give me one of those 24-hour fix-it notices.

I have this rattle in my van that I can only hear when my window is down and I’m traveling under 40 mph. The van’s been in the shop twice this year, but I forgot both times to mention the rattle.

When my van was stolen two years ago, the thieves took all my music tapes. I drove for a year without any tapes, figuring to one day record new ones. I never did. Last August, my son put one of his tapes in the player. Then he went back to college. His tape is still playing.

I’m carrying a rebate form in my wallet for some computer mice I bought back in November. The rebate expired on March 31, 1998. I never mailed it in. I have yet to throw it away.

I’ve owed my cousin in Oklahoma $8 since 1976.

I haven’t shaved my ears in over a month.

I’ve needed my wisdom teeth pulled for 20 years. I only have the upper ones, and they are growing down into my lower gums. Instead of having them removed, once a year I cajole my dentist, Pat Roetzer, into grinding them down. He won’t do it anymore. He says they must go, "now."

I was supposed to call the oral surgeon last month. The phone number is on my bulletin board beside me now. I’m looking at it. Unfortunately, it’s too late to call tonight. I’ll have to call tomorrow when the office is open.