For Thursday, January 28, 1999 Drummer Column, Gibbs, 701 words

Natural cool

What is cool? What does it take to be cool? Can anybody be cool, or are we born with it? Can we nurture a cool spark into total coolness? How? Why?

We hear comments like "She's just trying to be cool" or "He thinks he's so cool" as if coolness were a negative thing. No. Cool is cool. It helps us fall in love. It helps us find friends. It helps us to succeed. The derision is directed at the people who are acting cool, pretending cool, forcing cool.

That's the cool thing about coolness. It requires us to wear our original face. We are who we are and if we pretend to be something other than who we are, then we are someone who is pretending to be something other than who we are. That's not cool.

I flattened my right foot 25 years ago trying to be cool. I jumped off a box car to supposedly impress a girl. I was pretending to be "The Amazing Jumping Guy." She wasn't impressed. My foot still hurts.

Basic coolness is easy to achieve. Just be honest, fair and friendly. That is all it takes. The problem faced by basically cool people is that no one knows they are cool. They don't broadcast it. One has to get to know them personally to discover their coolness.

Social coolness is another level and can prove tricky. Social coolness comes when lots of other people learn how cool we really are. In order for them to find out, we must broadcast it through words, deeds, clothing and cars. This is a dangerous dance, however, because cool by its varied and vague definition is pomp free and unaffected. There is great strength is subtlety and nuance. We must effuse coolness.

Owning a nice car and lots of new clothes can help or hinder our hipness. It depends on how we wear them. If they are being flaunted, forget it. If they are serving as beautiful backdrops to our pleasant personalities, they can help define us as cool people with good taste.

I used to own a puffy shirt like the one Jerry Seinfeld ridiculed so well. It was pink and I used to wear it to the town carnival. I was the only person at the carnival with a puffy shirt. At the time, I thought that made me cool. Looking back, I'm not so sure.

Owning a unique car and freaky clothes, wacky hair, stapled body parts, bold tattoos, are all expressions of varying degrees of coolness. They provide inexpensive, yet colorful, statements of who we are. But, again, it's how we wear that green, spiked hair that determines if we are a true free spirits or just people who mutilated our hair because we were trying to be cool. We have to effuse greenness.

I accidentally bleached my hair white one college summer. I was living on the Jersey Shore and decided to become a cool blonde. I overdid it and got nearly white hair. I played it cool until the roots came in, then I shaved my head.

Having a talent that enriches the lives of others provides an easy inroad to social coolness. If you are a talented entertainer -- an athlete, artist, musician, comedian, leader -- and generously share your gifts, you will surely develop a reputation as a truly cool person. Of course, you still have to be honest, fair, and friendly. Basic coolness traits are the universal foundation.

Every year thousands of people are killed, maimed or emotionally scarred while trying to be cool. Hotrods crash. Show-offs break bones. Druggies O.D. Smokers and drinkers cough and puke. Middle-aged people get stuck with stupid tattoos that they hate. Women end up with babies. People catch their hair on fire, drown, get electrocuted, bitten, shot, kicked, slapped, sued, and boxed in the ears, all in the name of being cool.

So, here it is: Cool people know that humans are imperfect. Cool people let others make mistakes without embarrassing them or losing their friendship. Cool people do not pretend perfection. Cool people face their mistakes and correct them. They do not hide from them. We are who we are. We are either real and cool, or we are not.