For Thursday, December 30, 1999 Drummer Column, 705 words, Gibbs
Why two, Kay?
Wow. These are historic times. The millennium change is looming large. I feel like I'm boarding an airplane and worried about it crashing. The only difference is I can't jump out of line and run screaming through the airport. There is no turning back from this trip, no stopping the inevitable.
Our natural environment doesn't give a hoot about numbers. If anything goes wacko it will be all our fault. The Jewish calendar is celebrating 5760, the Islamic calendar says it's 1420, and the Chinese calendar reads 4697, but together we built all our electronic switching equipment in the 20th Century.
I vacillate in my optimism. A reader sent me a news clip a short while ago involving an interview with the Minister of Technology for Nepal. The Minister was asked what had been done in his country about Y2K? His response was, "What is Y2K?"
Virtually, the whole world will be hit by the date change before us, so we'll get to watch what happens as Y2K sweeps around the globe. We will receive these vital communications through televisions, radios, telephones, computers and other forms of electronic switching.
I worry sometimes about Windows95 computers. As a Windows98 user, I have instant-update capability with Microsoft, and this year Gates has sent me a slew of Y2K patches. So, I'm figuring, if 98 needs a half dozen updates, what's that say for 95 machines?
As a precaution, I suggest all Windows users log onto a Microsoft Update Center and review the available patches. Windows98 users simply go to Start and then click the globe. The updates will download and install all by themselves.
All computer users should consider updating flash BIOS, hardware drivers and software applications. Of course, that's scarier to many of us that that watching the calendar flip out.
One other alternative is this: When you turn on your computer for the first time on January 1, in the year 2000, hide behind your chair, and remember good eye protection is important to good health.
I predict most of the New Year's trouble, if there is any, will come from mischief rather than machines. Everyone is expecting something wild to happen. If nothing big erupts, like a domino failure of the nation's power grid or an explosion at a nuclear plant, some people are going to grow restless. They will want to make something happen.
Then of course we have the murderous terrorists planning to blow up national monuments and innocent civilians to prove a point. And their point is what? They deserve better? If they can't get better, they'll make things worse?
"Oh, my bread is wet. Why don't I wipe it in the dirt!"
On the friendly side, we have the survivalists, those of us who have filled our gas tanks and bathtubs, stocked up on bottled water, batteries, firewood and fuel; those who are saying, "Come on. I dare you. Bring on that Y2K! Let it all crash. I'm ready."
Some of us are kind of hoping the electric overlay on life does close down, not so that people on respirators will suffer, but so we can prove our mettle. We want to show ourselves and others that we still have a spark of the pioneer spirit in us. Let the going get tough, and we'll get going.
Some of us are hoping for a grounded grid just so we can watch our fat, pampered relatives be inconvenienced. "Let's see old Uncle Charlie make a fire and eat rabbits on a stick."
It is a shame we have to be apprehensive. The millennium change is such a massively grand excuse to throw the party. It would be swell if we could all gather in major metropolitan areas and sway arm in arm without looking over our shoulders.
Many people will actually do less socializing during this historic New Year. Cautious people will stay close to home and a baseball bat. Protect the home front from the hordes, avoid crowds and mob mentalities, and pop the champagne. That is a familiar scenario for this year.
On Saturday morning we will all emerge from our fallout shelters, pat ourselves to make sure we're alive, and admire the sunshine of a New Year. Then football.